In the trenches of battle....

Psalm 30:11-12

11 You turned my wailing into dancing;

you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,

12 that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent.

Lord my God, I will give you THANKS forever.

Mom has successfully completed 4 rounds of chemotherapy with just 14 more to go! She's getting 4-6 hours of chemo every Tuesday three weeks out of the month with the fourth week off. The weeks with no chemo are the "good" weeks.  Thankfully, this past months "good" week just happened to be the week of Thanksgiving. Mom did great supervising our cooking and prepping for our Thanksgiving meal.  Below is a photo of me (Serina) and mom at thanksgiving - oh how thankful we are for our precious mom!

To help mom and the rest of the family get through this journey mom has created an encouragement wall. The wall contains pictures, Bible verses, words of encouragement and huge numbers representing the countdown of days left for chemo. Here are a few photos of mom armored up as she fearlessly fights this battle! 

As expected, moms hair was to start falling out. Mom didn't want the mess of her hair all over the place so she had her dear friend Yolonda come over for a hair cutting session. 

 Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. 2 Corinthians 4:16

How true that scripture is. My mom herself would testify that she is "dying to self" and being spiritually renewed. Mom looks beautiful rock'n her new style. 

Literally only days after her hair was cut all of her hair started falling out. What perfect timing the Lord has. The day of her hair loss, mom wanted to celebrate. The celebration of mom embracing the tribulations of this journey, knowing that even in the so called "small" obstacles (hair loss) of this cancer journey she is an overcomer.  We're all in the trenches of battle and we can fight victoriously because we know God is with us. A celebration wouldn't be complete without smiles and cake so we were sure to include both on the day of celebration! 

In the midst of a battle it's very easy to grow weary, angry, sad, and allow bitterness to stir but it's far better to rejoice and give praise to Our Savior. To offer up your purest form of thanksgiving and worship for there's nothing greater than our personal relationship with Him. Mom is an incredible example of that! She has glorified God throughout every step of this journey. As she currently undergoes chemotherapy this very second, nothing but praise is being given to Him! 

Mom and Dad have used this opportunity to minister to others; by bringing fruit to nurses and Doctors, sharing God's goodness with other cancer patients during chemotherapy,  and even the rest of the family is encouraged and inspired to share God's goodness. "We may not have health, the best job, and all that we want or need but we have God" is what mom recently wrote on her daily chalkboard.

God's providence is so evident in this situation that it's undeniable. We stay trusting in Him, clinging onto Him even with 16 more rounds of chemotherapy that still await mom. To know God cares so much that He literally shows himself through things like loving meals from friends and family, loved ones accompanying mom to every chemo session and countless text message and phone calls. 

Mom's house is still filled with the hustle and bustle of 3 daughters, 3 son-in-laws and 6 grandchildren.....oh and one small chiwawa. We try and keep things as calm and quiet as possible but mom says her kids bring her life! And we must bring her a lot of it because there is always a lot going on with so many grand-kiddos running around, all which are under the age of six. 

As we continue this holiday season filled with the celebration of our Lord's birth, we are also celebrating our season of being rebirthed, refined and refocused.  Spiritual chemo is taking place and we choose to focus on God's goodness as He carries us through this battle. He is OUR Immanuel which literally means "God with us", and oh how much He has been with us throughout this journey! Not to say that some days haven't been rough, many nights been sleepless or some moments filled with tears and heartache, but nevertheless God is our Immanuel! Praise be given to Him as we continue to fight and conquer this battle, victoriously! 

An encouraging note from the patient

All our fret and worry is caused by calculating without God.

- Oswald Chambers

God is such an important part of each journey in life. Without Him we would worry, fret, have anxiety, doubt and live in fear. Yet, with Him we overcome obstacles and we persevere, regardless of the end result. God uses tribulation and troubles to refine, remold and strengthen.  He's doing  just that.

We last left many of you informed of the cancer journey ahead of us as my mom, Bea was newly diagnosed with ovarian cancer. She came home after surgery and recovered well. She has since then met with her chemotherapy Doctor and is scheduled to start chemotherapy next week.

What we had last heard was that her cancer was not isolated to only her Ovaries, which thank the Lord, it was. My mom has a very rare cancer called Transitional Cell Carcinoma. Being that this is a rare cancer her chemotherapist Doctor has proposed to be very aggressive in treating what microcells still remain. Please keep my mom in prayer as this part of this journey will seem to be the challenge. There are many side effects involved in chemotherapy which often complicates things, and being that my mom is a diabetic, she's become all the more a challenging patient. Best thing is, God (the great physician) is in this and my mom (as well family) are clinging to Him.

My mom is too cute, she wrote a little note to the many of you who have prayed and been concerned for her. Here's a note from our cornerstone.


My my my, who are these girls talking about?

It ain't me (bea).  I'd like to meet this person.

My mind and heart  seem to agree that our girls, Naomi , Juleene, and Serina are drawing strength ,confidence, peace, and comfort in the person of Jesus Christ who hangs out a lot with us. In fact He never leaves us or forsakes us. Especially as we face such a turbulent episode in our family's journey.

My Lord has used the girls in the most  powerful ways these past weeks. They are a great wall of faith, hope, love, protection, comfort, and boldness as they answer the call to action. My simple words cannot express what my spirit sees and feels. They are the point (wo)men of the situation.  Raul my husband, the better part of me is still overseeing all events taking place and walking on every step I do!

I truly believe that the girls strength is the result of many of you, family and church family praying, interceding and doing warfare on our behalf. The words "Thank You" go out to the army of family, friends, and oh so many who I do not even know. My appreciation and gratitude are heart felt and human words seem to fall short as I try to articulate my humble  "thank you ". My spirit cries out in wordless tears for all of your concern, compassion, love, prayers and words of comfort. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

My journey in the past few week has sure taken a turn not anticipated.  And already the LORD has created in my heart a respect and admiration for the millions of cancer patients who have gone before me and also for the countless medical personal all over the world fighting this killer of a disease.

In reading and getting aquainted with the many aspects of this killer disease, I am getting ready to face the chemotherapy part of it. This chemo in my body is for fighting and destroying cancer cells still inside. In my devotional time with my Jesus he gently expressed that as I experience the physical aspect chemo my spirit will also be experiencing spiritual chemo.

           Romans 12:1,2

  I urge you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of GOD, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to GOD, which is your spiritual service of worship.

             And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of GOD is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

So I will hold on tight to GOD'S hand as I  spend the next six months renewing my mind and getting rid of any trace of spiritual cancer such as selfishness, jealousy, selfish ambition, passing judgment, deeds of the flesh, anger, and much much more. Any of these left untreated in the Spirit will destroy  just like cancer.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 

10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

 
Keep praying as there are still rough waters ahead. Thank you.

Our cups tipping over.

My mom once said "When life tips my cup over, I would hope that what comes out is faith, hope, love, trust, perseverance and strength", I'd say that time has come - life has tipped my mom's cup. Yesterday, with my dad and sisters, we sat in a room as the oncologist explained the Ovarian cancer was removed but it looks like it had come from somewhere else. That was not the news we had expected. Now it was more than just my moms cup tipping over, it was all of ours. We sat in a room together in silence until Serina suggested we pray. Prayer never seemed more comforting than it did in that moment. My sisters and I have shared that there's nothing like talking to God when there's no one else to talk to. It's in these moments when we are so helplessly transparent that we feel God's hope and presence abound. Today, my mom said her infamous words again as the doctor shared with her the news of cancer still being in her body and the need for chemotherapy. "As our cup is being tipped over I would like God to be glorified". This time she said it with more enthusiasm.

From the get go, my mom's desire is for this Cancer, this disease, to be an opportune moment for all to see God. To see God's triumphant work despite the struggle, despite the pain, despite the hurt, despite all the bad that comes with cancer.  She wants YOU all to see God. My mom has managed to remove herself from the heartache of this situation and put God's will and His desire in the forefront of this whole thing.  It was amazing to sit and hear my mom encourage someone on the phone today as they expressed their sadness and concern to her. "God is good, God is in control, God has me in the palm of His hand and God knows the outcome" were her words of encouragement. How is that possible? The very individual infected with the disease is the one with the greatest hope and faith. I give credit to the innumerable hours of prayer and studying my mom has done over the past decades that have prepared her heart and mind to live in the supernatural world and not in the physical. To see the eternal purpose of this journey rather than the physical pain and hurt. She "lives in the kingdom" she proclaims countlessly, and I can honestly say she does. This isn't shock. This isn't delirium. This is the heart of a woman who has spent more time with her heavenly Father than with anyone else. This is a woman who has spent years preparing herself for the spiritual battle we are about to endure. This is more than what we physicially can see.  In honor of my mom, Bea, I leave you with her quote "The physical is a shadow of the reality of the Spiritual". We have to look beyond what we can see and rest in the Hope that God has mighty plans and He will show Himself to be victorious in it, despite the outcome.

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Ephesians 6:12

For now we are just waiting to see what tests are done to see where the cancer is coming from. Meanwhile, my mom is strong, hopeful and excited to see God's faithfulness. Her pain is under control and she walked today without assistance. She was able to eat and was craving Chipotle, of all things. My Dad is with her and even though he hates hospitals he couldn't see himself anywhere else other than right by mom's side. The girls and I are trading the six grandkids with each other to allow one another time to visit with mom. God has been so good in making our kids tolerant during the juggling. Thank you for all the sweet and supportive emails, texts and messages. We thank you for all your prayer, it is the greatest weapon we have in this battle.

Here are a few pics from yesterday.

 

Preparing for Battle....

Romans 8:37

"..,in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.."

Amen! We are more than conquerors through Christ Jesus and my mom is living proof of this!

Mom and her 3 girls outside Dr. O'Day's office after she had been told there were masses found in each ovary which could possibly be cancerous. 

After mom's routine annual appointment and an ultrasound she was called on Monday, September 23, 2013 to pursue a blood test. Blood tests showed markers of cancer and on Wednesday, September 25 mom's doctor (Doctor O'Day) called and requested to see her right away. Mom immediately asked if she should bring any type of paperwork and the doctor replied "please bring someone with you" The next morning we all met at doctor O'Day's office to review what doctors had seen as signs of ovarian cancer. 

We were all there to support mom! Notice we all have smiles on our faces? If God is for us, who can be against us?

Mom's CA 125 levels were 998 where normal ranges are around 30. Prior to meeting with Dr. O'Day, Mom called each of us to inform us that she may be having surgery (never mentioning the "C" word). Our family has been shaken to the core but during this entire time Mom was strong, at peace and praising the Lord. She was, and continues to, genuinely praise the Lord. Not once has she asked the question "Why me?" Mom's initial reaction with the diagnoses was "this is an opportunity to serve The Lord!". And, for those of you who know my mom, can't you just picture her saying that genuinly praising God?

This was a picture of mom and dad filling out paperwork on the day of her CT scan

Time for some yummy drink of contrast so the CT scan can get a good picture of her abdomen.

Friday, September 28 Mom had a CT scan of her abdomen to see if there were any signs of cancer. And five days later she met with the Oncologist to review the results. It was a LONG five days for all of us, but meanwhile Mom was praising the Lord morning, day and night.

Mom requested Lucielle's for a late lunch after her CT scan. 

Just recently on Wednesday, October 2 mom met with her Oncologist (Dr. Tewari) at St. Josephs in Orange. The oncologist is suspicious ovarian cancer but won't be sure surgery. Dr. Tewari suggested a full hysterectomy. Mom's surgery is scheduled for Tuesday, October 8th at St. Joseph’s hospital. 

We are asking for continued prayer as we enter this battleground. Mom has been preparing for battle her entire life and this isn't the first time (and probably won't be the last) that mom has faced illnesses head on. Throughout her 59 years of life mom has truly seen a lifetime of illness, pain and suffering when it comes to her body but she is more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus! Her body might be weak but her heart and Spirit are strong!

Walking into the cancer center at St. Joseph's knowing this is a new start to a new chapter. 

And more paperwork.....

Walking into meet with the Oncologist to get the results of mom's CT scan. My heart sank as I saw her walk through this door.  I immediately bowed my head.

Praise be to God the Oncologist is suspicious of cancer and if so, it's early and Stage one. Look how happy we all were to hear this news! Not the typical reaction when your mom has just been told she may have stage one, but we're counting our blessings! 

I happened to look up the definition of the word conqueror in the Webster dictionary and this is what I found:

Definition of conqueror (n)

con·quer·or

1.      victor over enemy: a victor in a war

I immediately saw my mom, putting on her armor of God, piece by piece, preparing for battle. This is more than just possible cancer, it's an attack from the enemy himself. My mom is a mighty woman of God and Satan has been trying to destroy her time after time. Yet, he does not realize that she is more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus!!! Mom will not only be victorious, but she will come out stronger and more triumphant because the Lord, our God, is with her and the battle has already been won!

On Tuesday morning mom is scheduled for surgery. It will be a 3-4 hour surgery with a 3-4 day hospital visit. For 6 weeks mom will be recovering. Mom will be staying with my sister Juleene (who happens to be a nurse) who will literally help nurse mom back to health. Please keep Juleene in your prayers also since she'll be assisting with mom's recovery.

We ask for prayers as mom enters this battleground. We pray for strength, guidance, direction, faithfulness, peace and endurance as we know this will be a long, intensive battle. We know we'll be victorious but she'll still have to face the depths and trenches of war before victory can prevail. We know our Lord is faithful and He holds her in the palm of His hand. We pray that we will all be reminded of this as we enter the dark times that lay before us knowing that victory over the enemy is near, but a battle must first be entered. Please pray for the armor of God to protect mom's body, mind and spirit as she enters this war.

Ephesians 6:10-18

The Armor of God

¹⁰ Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹ Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³ Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴ Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵ and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶ In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷ Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.